Melancholia

Justine, a woman suffering from an extreme case of clinical depression, celebrates her marriage with a extravagant reception that is marred bickering family members, leaving the bride feeling withdrawn.

The following morning Justine notices a planet, with no orbit of its own, hurtling toward Earth. And as the newlyweds are helpless against Justine's depression ruining their marriage, the entire wedding party can do nothing but freak out and watch as the world comes to an end.







Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt

Directed by: Lars von Trier

Tom Cruise and his new hairdo

After rocking a shoulder-length, shaggy hairstyle for more than a year, Tom Cruise has finally lopped off his locks for a much-shorter style, which he debuted in NYC on Tuesday.

The 49-year-old actor had to ditch his man bangs for his upcoming film, One Shot, which is scheduled to start shooting in October in Pittsburgh, PA (the same city where Christian Bale's The Dark Knight Rises is currently filming.)

In the Christopher McQuarrie-directed crime thriller, Cruise will play Jack Reacher, an ex-Army cop.

Cruise is set to star alongside actor Richard Jenkins and actress Rosamund Pike in the flick adapted from the 2005 Lee Child thriller.

Personal Privacy for Celebrites?: Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson wants people to know that actors have the right to privacy too.

The actress, who was the latest celebrity to have nude, personal photos leaked on to the web, told CNN that celebrities deserve the same protections as those not in the public eye.

"Just because you're an actor or make films or whatever doesn't mean you're not entitled to your own personal privacy," she told CNN, according to Reuters. "If that is sieged in some way, it feels unjust. It feels wrong."

Scarlett's personal photos hit the web on September 15, and she admitted the additional attention on her life outside of work has been something she's had to get used to.

"It's an adjustment, but I think there are certain instances where you give a lot of yourself and finally you have to kind of put your foot down and say, 'Oh wait, I'm taking it back,'" she said, per Reuters.

Skinny dip at Clooney's: Marisa Tomei

When staying at George Clooney's Italian villa you might end up in the lake - without your clothes on!

When the actor was caught at the premiere of his latest movie, "The Ides of March," he talked about Lake Como palazzo that has a long history of inspiring distinguished newscasters to take a dip in the pristine waters.

"I got Charlie Rose to jump in the water too," said Clooney. "Once, I got Walter Cronkite jump in the lake a long time ago, so now once you get Walter Cronkite, you get all these classy journalists to jump in the lake now."

Earlier on Tuesday during an appearance on "Conan," George's co-star, Marisa Tomei, revealed that Charlie wasn't the only "Ides" star jumping in the lake.

"Charlie Rose can be hot. We had some hijinks over there in Como. He's a sport," Marisa said of the PBS newsman, explaining that she, Evan Rachel Wood and Charlie (who also stars in "Ides") recently stayed at Clooney's home.

"George kind of... we wound up all skinny dipping, let's just cut to the chase!" the actress said with a laugh.

According to Marisa, Cronkite's dip in the lake inspired the "Ides" gang to also take a leap.

"George said, 'Walter Cronkite was here, when Cronkite was here he jumped in the lake! And he did it on the second night. Now, we're here on the first night, we're having wine, we're having a beautiful dinner.' So, he throws the gauntlet down. 'Are you guys going to jump in the lake on the first night? Are you gonna top Cronkite?'" the actress recounted.

But they weren't going to let the last news great best them.

"[Cronkite] jumped in in full tux," Marisa explained. "So, the only way to really top that was to go the whole other way!"

Copyright 2011 by NBC Universal, Inc. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

See the trailer for George Clooney's film "The Ides of March":

Dream House

Successful publisher Will Atenton quit a job in New York City to relocate his wife, Libby, and two girls to a quaint New England town. But as they settle into their new life, they discover their perfect home was the murder scene of a mother and her children. And the entire city believes it was at the hands of the husband who survived. When Will investigates the tragedy, his only lead comes from Ann Paterson, a neighbor who was close to the family that died. As Will and Ann piece together the disturbing puzzle, they discover that the story of the last man to leave Will's dream house will be just as horrifying to the one who came next.






Starring: Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Rachel Fox

Directed by: Jim Sheridan

Release Date
: September 30th, 2011


Lighters - Bad Meets Evil

Royce da 5'9" (Bad) and Eminem (Evil) meet together performing Lighters.


Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)

Lets not wait until friday to chill with Katy Perry. Watch this music video of Katy Perry's Friday Night events last week with Uncle Kenny. Kirk & Tiffany Terry still claim to be the founders.


Nicki Minaj: Super Bass

Watch Nicki Minaj's heart beat running away taking yours along with that of hers in this music video SUPER BASS.


Jason Derulo: It Girl

Watch Jason Derulo's 'It Girl' rocking her way up the charts in this music video.


LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem

Watch the music video of LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem.

Pitbull: Give Me Everything

Watch the music video Give Me Everything by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer.


Selena Gomez: Love You Like A Love Song

Watch Selena Gomez at the Karaoke bar singing 'Love You Like A Love Song.'


Dont Be Afraid of the Dark

Introverted Sally Hurst has just moved in with her father Alex and his girlfriend Kim when she realizes that their sprawling estate holds its fair share of secrets. Ascending to the depths of the house, Sally gains access to a secret lower level that has lain undisturbed for nearly a century, when the original builder vanished without a trace.

When Sally accidentally opens the gateway that kept the creatures locked up tight, she realizes that in order to prevent them from destroying her family is to convince her skeptical father than monsters really exist.

Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison

Directed by: Troy Nixey

Abduction

A teen finds himself in mortal danger after realizing that his entire childhood has been built on lies. Realizing that the people who raised him aren't his real parents after stumbling across a childhood photo of himself on a website devoted to missing children, the frightened teen flees for his life as FBI agents Frank Burton and Sandra Burns race to protect him and uncover the truth about his mysterious past.

Starring: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina, Sigourney Weaver, Jason Isaacs

Directed by: John Singleton

Drive

Driver is a Los Angeles wheelman for hire, stunt driving for movie productions by day and steering getaway vehicles for armed heists by night.

Though a loner by nature, Driver can't help falling in love with his beautiful neighbor Irene, a vulnerable young mother dragged into a dangerous underworld by the return of her ex-convict husband Standard.

After a heist intended to pay off Standard's protection money spins unpredictably out of control, Driver finds himself driving defense for the girl he loves, tailgated by a syndicate of deadly serious criminals. But when he realizes that the gangsters are after more than the bag of cash in his trunk - that they're coming straight for Irene and her son - Driver is forced to shift gears and go on offense.

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston, Ron Perlman

Directed by: Nicholas Winding Refn


Killer Elite

An ex-special ops agent is lured out of retirement to rescue his mentor. To make the rescue, he must complete a near-impossible mission of killing three tough-as-nails assassins with a cunning leader.

Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Yvonne Strahovski, Dominic Purcell

Directed by: Gary McKendry

Machine Gun Preacher

In "Machine Gun Preacher," the new film from director Marc Forster ("Monster's Ball," "Quantum of Solace"), the gulf between the sacred and the profane has rarely gaped so wide within the same film. Based on the true story of Sam Childers (played by Gerard Butler), an ex-con who became a missionary and aid worker in Sudan almost entirely of his own volition and with his own resources, Forster's film is a hard-to-take mix of aspiration at its highest and human cruelty at its lowest. Within the opening moments, a child is forced, at gunpoint, to club his own mother to death. Childers takes breaks from building his orphanage to conduct armed attacks on the area's guerrilla fighters. The clash between principles and practice is like hearing hymns played by a metal band, or a children's choir singing Led Zeppelin.

When we meet Childers, he's swaggering out of jail after yet another bid in the joint, picked up by his long-suffering stripper wife, Lynn (Michelle Monaghan). A quick roadside bout of car sex, a jaunt home and Sam realizes things are different: Lynn's not stripping and has found Jesus. Sam doesn't want to hear about this, storming out of the trailer to find his funky junkie pal Donnie (Michael Shannon) for a shot of booze, a shot of heroin and some other vulgar pleasures.

But eventually Sam comes around -- and he needs to. Watching Butler claw at an unfamiliar collared shirt during a sermon, "Machine Gun Preacher" becomes a demonstration of salvation -- or at the very least of the desperate need for it. A speaker at church talks about the desperate need for missionary work in the Sudan, where religious fanatics cross borders to kill and maim and recruit child soldiers. Sam goes, at first picking up a hammer. And then, after learning more about the land's conflicts from soldier Deng (Souleymane Sy Savane), he picks up a gun.

Childers not only risks his life in combat, he risks his world in struggle -- pouring time and money into the Sudanese mission, neglecting his wife, Lynn, and his daughter, Paige (Madeline Carroll). All of this may be true, but it's also, tonally, confusing: Are we supposed to admire Sam or fear him, respect his choices or doubt them? It would be one thing if "Machine Gun Preacher" were shooting for a tone of moral confusion, but in light of such manipulations as the opening scene (during which I saw one press member simply walk out) and the film's eventual emotional gambit of hope and healing cribbed from "A Christmas Carol," it's hard to think the film's shooting for ambiguity but instead, rather, doesn't quite know how to wrap the blood and squalor of genocide up pretty with such rough and raw materials as Childers' life.

Butler is agreeably watchable. His woozy, confused sermons where he preaches to the congregation of a church he's built himself are of real intensity. And his dilemma -- How do we change the world without it driving us mad? -- is presented strongly. But again, I can't see the audience who wants a heartwarming tale getting misty when Childers kills people with an AK-47, and I can't see the audience that would find this a tough, rewarding drama being wooed by some of the more Lifetime TV movie moments.

Forster's direction doesn't help: He's a competent technician but the kind of rank sentimentalist that makes Paul Haggis ("Crash," "Million Dollar Baby") look like a stoic. Shannon is largely wasted, which is a shame, as he's much more watchable than Butler. Screenwriter Jason Keller has only one prior produced film -- surprise, surprise, a TV movie -- and "Machine Gun Preacher" feels a bit like it was written to straddle the line between truly inspirational cinema (where an unknown evil is exposed) and conventional awards-season Oscar-ready misery tourism (where the audience gets to spend a few hours feeling bad before going back to their safe, well-fed lives). "Machine Gun Preacher" is like the AK-47 of dramas: mechanically well-constructed, not especially flashy, solidly built so as to take a few knocks without jamming ... but ultimately so scattershot when it fires all its rounds that it's hard to tell what, exactly, the filmmakers were aiming for when they pulled the trigger.

Drive

"Drive," not quite the U.S. filmmaking debut from Danish directorial sensation Nicolas Winding Refn (he fumbled big with the John Turturro-starring "Fear X" in 2003), caused quite a sensation at this year's Cannes Film Festival, from which many critics hailed it as a refreshing jolt of genre adrenaline in a gloomy sea of challenging art cinema. So imagine this viewer's surprise at finding the film to be about two-thirds' worth of a pretty good to quite good action picture and one-third worth of affected, highfalutin, practically insufferably portentous, pretentious "Hey, folks, here's the punch line" malarkey.

Refn's brutal "Pusher" trilogy, three nicely warped films of relentless violence and even more relentless overall bad vibes, put a steel-toed boot up the sensibilities of both film-fest mavens and adventurous fan boys in the earlier part of the last decade while scarily addressing the not-too-frequently-asked-in-these-parts question "Just how bad is the drug-related crime scene in Denmark, anyway?" One ironically irritating thing about "Drive" is that it feels very European in ways that Refn's actually European films did not. Not just European. Yurrupean.

The film's hero is a young, handsome, extremely taciturn expert driver (Ryan Gosling) who keeps together fixing cars and doing movie stunt work but who, with the help of a crusty but affectionate mentor, wants to break into the racing circuit. The other thing about him is that he also sidelines as a getaway driver for absconding criminals. And of course, as such, he has his rules concerning timing, and what he'll do and won't do, which are all very in keeping with the mythic ethic of the heroic man who lived outside the law. (He's extremely honest, as he must be.) But the other-other thing about him is that he has no name. Now, heroes with no name are not really a problem with genre films; one of this picture's direct precursors, Walter Hill's wonderful 1978 film "The Driver" features just such a hero. Only "The Driver" doesn't nudge you in the ribs every five minutes to remind you that its hero doesn't have a name. The thing that makes action-packed but intriguingly enigmatic action films such as that or "Bullitt" so seductive is that they don't spend too much time telling you how terse and elliptical they are; they just are terse and elliptical.

That's not to say that the film doesn't have its genre pleasures. The set piece in its center, in which Gosling's driver takes on a crime job as a mission of mercy, and has to deal with one brutal double cross and disaster after another, truly is one of the most incredible sustained pieces of cinematic action and suspense to come from any moviemaker anywhere in a long, long time, and it's absolutely worth the price of admission. But those pleasures are encased in a story line (adapted from a short novel by James Sallis) so rudimentary as to almost be some kind of contemptuous joke (suffice it to say that by this film's lights, all crime in Los Angeles is an extremely intimate affair).

And the flourishes just keep upping the pretentiousness ante. The notion of romance between the driver and Irene, a young mom in his apartment building (the British actress Carey Mulligan, doing some rather pointless quasi-hip art-genre slumming), is oh-so-delicately broached and deliberately skirted throughout, until a moment late-ish in the film, set in an elevator, distended for maximum quasi-operatic effect, when the driver bestows upon Irene a long, tender kiss ... and then turns around to face, then floor, and then stomp the stuffing out of, the elevator's other occupant, a hood who intends to bring harm to Irene and her precious little fella. And in case you don't "get" how Refn and company are charting the extremes between tenderness and violence that can be reached within mere seconds of each other -- mind-blowing when you think about it, right? -- Refn makes sure you can actually hear the poor hood's jawbone snap away from the rest of his skull. Pretty heavy, man.

And a little bit after that, in case we missed the significance of the image of the scorpion sewn into the driver's jacket, the driver himself relates to villain Bernie (Albert Brooks, whose effectiveness as a slimeball should be no surprise to anyone who's seen "Out of Sight," and I guess a lot of folks who saw this at Cannes never saw "Out of Sight") the story of the scorpion and the frog. Which was told to brilliant effect in Orson Welles' "Mr. Arkadin," then to telling effect in Neil Jordan's "The Crying Game," and third time the director's trying way too hard. And after that point, the film really starts to sink under the weight of its own affectations. I'd recommend to viewers who want to maintain their good impression of this picture to check out a couple of minutes after the character played by Christina Hendricks does. That's the spot at which "Drive" has been all that it could be.

Pinder Effect from Lynx UK

Lucy Pinder has been announced as the new face of Lynx Dry following in the footsteps of Abbey Clancy, Kelly Brook and Keeley Hazell, Lucy will star in two new digital games created to see if guys can control their Premature Perspiration.

Following the research revealing that emotion-triggered, nervous sweats that led one third of men ruining their chances with attractive women. Lynx went in search to see how far men can control this emotionally debilitating affliction.

And with Lucy Pinder as the UK's Number 1 cause of Premature Perspiration, a few games were created to give men a head start in controlling their staying power with the opposite sex using the legendary Lynx effect.

Lucy says: "It's so exciting to be the new Lynx Girl, especially on a project like this. You can meet the best looking and funniest man but if he starts getting sweaty it is a big turn off. I cant wait to see if guys will be able to control me...

One for the Money

A proud, born-and-bred Jersey girl, Stephanie Plum's got plenty of attitude, even if she's been out of work for the last six months and just lost her car to a debt collector. Desperate for some fast cash, Stephanie turns to her last resort: convincing her sleazy cousin to give her a job at his bail bonding company...as a recovery agent. True, she doesn't even own a pair of handcuffs and her weapon of choice is pepper spray, but that doesn't stop Stephanie from taking on Vinny's biggest bail-jumper: former vice cop and murder suspect Joe Morelli - yup, the same sexy, irresistible Joe Morelli who seduced and dumped her back in high school.

Nabbing Morelli would be satisfying payback - and a hefty payday - but as Stephanie learns the ins and outs of becoming a recovery agent from Ranger, a hunky colleague who's the best in the business, she also realizes the case against Morelli isn't airtight. Add to the mix her meddling family, a potentially homicidal boxer, witnesses who keep dying and the problem of all those flying sparks when she finds Morelli himself...well, suddenly Stephanie's new job isn't nearly as easy as she thought.

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O Mara, Daniel Sunjata, John Leguizamo, Sherri Shepherd

Directed by: Julie Anne Robinson, James McQuaide

Release Date: January 27th, 2012

Man on a Ledge

An ex-cop and now wanted fugitive stands on the ledge of a high-rise building while a hard-living New York Police Department negotiator tries to talk him down. The longer they are on the ledge, the more she realizes that he might have an ulterior objective.

Starring: Sam Worthington, Jamie Bell, Anthony Mackie, Elizabeth Banks, Genesis Rodriguez

Directed by: Asger Leth

Release Date: January 13th, 2012

Killer Elite

An ex-special ops agent is lured out of retirement to rescue his mentor. To make the rescue, he must complete a near-impossible mission of killing three tough-as-nails assassins with a cunning leader.

Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Yvonne Strahovski, Dominic Purcell

Directed by: Gary McKendry

Release Date: September 23rd, 2011

The Debt

In 1997, shocking news reaches retired Mossad secret agents Rachel and Stefan about their former colleague David. All three have been venerated for decades by their country because of the mission that they undertook back in 1966, when the trio tracked down Nazi war criminal Vogel in East Berlin. At great risk, and at considerable personal cost, the team's mission was accomplished - or was it? The suspense builds in and across two different time periods, with startling action and surprising revelations.

Starring: Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Romi Aboulafia, Sam Worthington

Directed by: John Madden

The Help

At the dawn of the civil rights movement, three Mississippi women are about to take one extraordinary step. Twenty-two-year-old Skeeter has just returned home after graduating from Ole Miss and her mother won't be happy till she finds a husband. Aibileen, a wise African-American maid and caretaker suffers after the loss of her own child. And Minny, Aibileen's sassy best friend, struggles to find and hold a job. Seemingly as different from one another as can be, these women will nonetheless come together for a clandestine project that will put them all at risk.

Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain, Mike Vogel, Roslyn Ruff

Directed by: Tate Taylor

Contagion

"Contagion" follows the rapid progress of a lethal airborne virus that kills within days. As the fast-moving epidemic grows, the worldwide medical community races to find a cure and control the panic that spreads faster than the virus itself. At the same time, ordinary people struggle to survive in a society coming apart.

Starring: Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow & Laurence Fishburne.

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

Kat Von D breaks up again

And, they're off -- this time for good?

After ending their six-month engagement in July and reconciling one month later, Kat Von D and Jesse James have called it quits yet again.

L.A. Ink star and tattoo artist Von D made the point crystal clear in a note to fans on her Facebook page just past midnight on Saturday.

"I am not in a relationship," Von D, 29, wrote. "And I apologize for all the "back and forth" if it's caused any confusion."

To dispel other apparent misunderstandings, she also noted: "I am not in any way moving to Texas," where motorcycle mogul James, 43, keeps a home in Austin. " I am not opening up another tattoo shop. And I am not leaving my shop here in Los Angeles, High Voltage Tattoo."

The single-again star (real name: Katherine von Drachenberg) is also without a reality show to call her own. TLC canceled L.A. Ink after four seasons in August.

"As hard as it is to sometimes let go of the things you are so accustomed to doing, I am happy to have done LA Ink, but am even more excited about new upcoming ventures," she added.

James first stepped out with Von D in August of 2010, about two months after his messy divorce from Sandra Bullock was finalized. They announced their engagement in January 2011. Von D would have been his fourth wife.

Kate Winslet's sexy fling

Rocknroll new romance for Kate Winslet!

The Oscar winning actress, 35, is dating Richard Branson's nephew Ned Abel Smith -- a.k.a. Ned Rocknroll -- a source confirmed

The duo arrived together at last Tuesday's memorial service for Ted Branson (Richard Branson's father) at the Royal Geographical Society in London. Its reported that Ned, 33, legally changed his name to "Ned Rocknroll" several years back, and recently separated from his wife Eliza, the daughter of a British viscount.

"Ned is really happy with Kate," the source tells Us, adding that the couple are currently spending a romantic weekend in the English countryside. Mildred Pierce star Winslet is "mature and has it all together," the source explains. "Ned feels he can learn so much from her. It's sexy -- a boy toy situation!"

An old friend of the Branson family, Winslet was famously a guest on Richard Branson's private Necker Island in late August when the house she was staying in caught fire; Winslet ended up carrying Eve, Branson's elderly mother, out of the burning building.

Winslet wasn't a solo visitor during her momentous Necker Island stay. In addition to Mia, 10, and Joe, 7, her kids with ex-husband Sam Mendes, the star's fellow guest was Louis Dowler, her on-and-off model beau.

No word yet on exactly when Winslet and Dowler parted ways.

Kim K Sex Tape: Vivid rejects $20 million offer


Vivid Entertainment has rejected a $20 million offer from an anonymous buyer to purchase the rights to Kim Kardashian's sex tape.

In August, the unidentified person's Tennessee lawyer sent Vivid founder and co-chairman Steve Hirsch a letter that read: “I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid, ‘Kim Kardashian Sex Tape. The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the ‘tape’ but hopes to completely remove it from the market.”

But Hirsch had reported he rejected the offer this weekend.

"We were offered $20 million for the Kim tape but have decided that we are going to hang on to it ... for now," he said.

"Although the offer that we ultimately received was substantial, when I realized that it wasn’t Kim it became less appealing. Kim is a superstar, and if it were to be sold, it should be to her."

Hirsch recently reported that the starlet’s Aug. 20 nuptials created a massive spike in traffic to Vivid’s 2007 Kardashian adult tape. The KimKSuperstar website received roughly 2 million hits during the wedding weekend Aug. 19-21, which is a significant rise from its average of 300,000.

Hirsch said in a statement, "The power of Kim Kardashian's name continues to amaze us. The Kim/Ray J sex tape has been a best seller for us since it was introduced in 2007 and there's no question that the media focus on her wedding last weekend increased traffic to kimksuperstar.com."

Kardashian's wedding to NBA player Kris Humphries was estimated to have cost $6 million, which the star offset by securing large discounts through venders who gave items and services in exchange for publicity on the her Twitter account and TV show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

Johnny English Reborn

In his latest adventure, the most unlikely intelligence officer in Her Majesty's Secret Service must stop a group of international assassins before they eliminate a world leader and cause global chaos. In the years since MI-7's top spy vanished off the grid, he has been honing his unique skills in a remote region of Asia. But when his agency superiors learn of an attempt against the Chinese premier's life, they must hunt down the highly unorthodox agent.

Now that the world needs him once again, Johnny English is back in action. With one shot at redemption, he must employ the latest in hi-tech gadgets to unravel a web of conspiracy that runs throughout the KGB, CIA and even MI-7. With mere days until a heads of state conference, one man must use every trick in his playbook to protect us all. For Johnny English, disaster may be an option, but failure never is.


Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Gillian Anderson, Pierce Brosnan, Dominic West, Rosamund Pike

Directed by: Oliver Parker

Apollo 18

Officially, Apollo 17, launched December 17th, 1972 was the last manned mission to the moon. But a year later, in December of 1973, two American astronauts were sent on a secret mission to the moon funded by the US Department of Defense. What you are about to see is the actual footage which the astronauts captured on that mission. While NASA denies its authenticity, others say it's the real reason we've never gone back to the moon.

Starring: Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins

Directed by: Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego






Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

On the surface, Marissa Cortez Wilson has it all...married to a famous spy hunting television reporter, a new baby and intelligent twin step kids. But in reality, trying to mother Rebecca and Cecil, who clearly don't want her around, is her toughest challenge yet. Also, her husband, Wilbur, wouldn't know a spy if he lived with one which is exactly the case -- Marissa's a retired secret agent.

Marissa's world is turned upside down when the maniacal Timekeeper threatens to take over the planet and she's called back into action by the head of OSS, home of the greatest spies and where the now-defunct Spy Kids division was created. With Armageddon quickly approaching, Rebecca and Cecil are thrust into action when they learn their boring stepmom was once a top agent and now the world's most competitive ten year olds are forced to put their bickering aside and rely on their wits.

With a little help from a couple of very familiar Spy Kids, Carmen and Juni Cortez, and some mind-blowing gadgets, they just may be able to save the world and possibly bring their family together while they're at it.

Starring: Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Danny Trejo, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Joel McHale, Mason Cook, Rowan Blanchard, Jeremy Piven, Ricky Gervais

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

Conan the Barbarian

Marcus Nispel’s silly, violent fantasy epic Conan the Barbarian is Hollywood’s second attempt at building a franchise based on pulp author Robert E. Howard’s signature character. The first yielded two films of diminishing quality – 1982’s Conan the Barbarian and 1984’s Conan the Destroyer – and is best remembered for launching the career of future governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose Austrian accent in the films is so thick as to render the bulk of his dialogue unintelligible.

Playing the title role in the update is Jason Momoa, whose muscles aren’t quite as gargantuan as his predecessor’s but whose line-readings are at the very least comprehensible. (His own accent betrays hints of Hawaiian surfer-dude.) Momoa is most famous for his recent turn as a Khal Drogo on the hit HBO series Game of Thrones, a far superior work of hard-R sword-and-sorcery fantasy. Thrones, like Conan the Barbarian, boasts bare breasts and beheadings galore, but beneath the sex and savagery lies real intelligence. All the titillating elements are icing on the cake for a series founded on compelling characters and ingenious storytelling,

Not so much with Conan the Barbarian. The film begins with a lengthy prologue, inexplicably narrated by Morgan Freeman, that briefs us on the essential details of the film’s mythology – and you’d best be paying attention, because the ensuing film treats story and character as so many enemies to be vanquished. The opening scene announces the movie’s savage B-movie ethos thusly: When Conan’s very pregnant mother is injured in battle (barbarians don’t get maternity leave), his father (Ron Perlman) delivers his son via an impromptu battlefield Cesarean, photographed in graphic detail. A warrior is born.

The plot involves a grown-up Conan gunning for revenge against Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), the sorcerer-chieftan who killed his father and obliterated his tribe, the Cimmerians, when he was just a boy. Conan is something of a rock star in the marauding world, his bloodlust not so all-consuming that he can’t stop to enjoy a flagon of mead with the odd topless slave babe. His credo is cogently expressed as “I live, I love, I slay, I am content” – words to live by if there ever were.

On the path to vengeance, Conan links up with a runaway nun, Tamara (Rachel Nichols), whose special blood is required by Khalar to resurrect his dead wife. Or maybe it’s needed to conquer the Kingdom of Hyboria. Whatever. The attraction between Conan and Tamara is instantaneous and powerful – what girl can resist such charming lines as “Woman, come here,” and “You look like a harlot”? Films like this can usually get by with one female speaking role, but Conan the Barbarian offers a second: Marique (Rose McGowan), a scheming goth-witch whose affection for her father, Khalar, is clearly beyond familial. The role was originally written for a man.

Nispel’s previous films include two horror remakes (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th) and the barely releasable Pathfinder. He directs with casual disregard for context, rushing hurriedly from one bloody set-piece to the next, coherence be damned. Action is paramount in Conan the Barbarian; the film is positively bursting with it, leaving little room for anything that might engage us on any level beyond “guilty pleasure.” Some of the action is memorable, some of it tedious, but the violence is inspired. In one scene, while questioning a man whose nose he’d hacked off just a few frames earlier, Conan jams his finger into the man’s exposed nose-hole, causing it to spew icky clear fluid. Now that is some enhanced interrogation.

Shark Night

Shark Night 3D, the new animal-attack thriller from venerable shlockmeister David R. Ellis, is dead in the water. It might have had a chance, had it chosen to follow the path of Piranha 3D, Alex Aja’s winking meat-grinder, and adopted a more self-aware stance, embracing its B-movie ethos. Instead, the film plays it disastrously straight – and PG-13, no less – wagering that it can make us care about its cast of pretty faces, frighten us with its collection of CGI sharks, engage us with a plot that integrates elements of Deliverance and a new-media twist, or titillate us with shots of exposed side-boobs and bikini-covered derrieres. It’s a losing bet.

The story concerns a group of Tulane undergrads who descend upon Louisiana’s Lake Crosby for a weekend of summer partying. There’s Sara (Sara Paxton), a perky blonde with a past; there’s Nick (Dustin Milligan), a bashful pre-med; there’s Malik (Sinqua Walls), the exuberant star football player; there’s … oh, who are we kidding? Most of these characters barely register in our consciousness; the lot are doomed anyhow.

The party ends when the kids discover that the lake has become infested with man-eating sharks. This happens when Malik, by virtue of being the ensemble’s only African-American, is the first to get nicked, losing his arm but not his talent for over-emoting. When his friends try to seek help (we’re warned in advance that cell phone service is unavailable at their island cabin), they incur the ire of the area’s native redneck population, whose natural enemies happen to be snooty college kids on vacation. Surrounded by dangers on land and at sea, our protagonists must find their own way out, or die trying.

Even with the help of ample CGI and some questionably lenient judgment on the part of the MPAA ratings board, Ellis can’t conjure much in the way of scares in Shark Night. Indeed, he hardly seems interested in trying. The film is almost entirely devoid of tension, lumbering along lamely from one telegraphed attack scene to the next, each episode of protracted underwater thrashing offering little to quicken the pulse. Rarely will you feel compelled to close your eyes. You’ll more likely be tempted to cover your ears, if only to be spared the dialogue.

Shark Night

Seven friends from Tulane University who spend a weekend at a lake house near Louisiana’s Lake Pontchartrain discover the waters are infested with sharks while spending their weekend at the lake house. Unbeknownst to them, they may have just stepped onto the playing-field of someone's idea of entertainment.

Starring: Sinqua Walls, Chris Carmack, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sara Paxton

Directed by: David R. Ellis